{ shirt/belt/necklace/bangles: F21; sweater: Gap; watch: Nordstrom }
The more time I spend around teen girls {both high school and college girls}, the more I realize that body image, beauty, and self-esteem are at the core of most of their insecurities.
A few weeks ago at girls group we had girls take an anonymous poll on 20 personal questions. One of the questions was, "Do you ever doubt that you're beautiful?" Out of the 60+ girls there that Tuesday night, every single girl said, "Yes." Woah. Every single college girl at younglife said that they doubted that they were beautiful. Not one responded with a "no". The more I listen to high school girls talk about their problems, the more I realize that they are centered around how boys make them feel, which boys are giving them attention, and their own personal comments about their bodies. Where are all of these lies coming from? Why do so many girls look to men to give them worth? Why do so many girls believe that they are only beautiful if they're a size 0? It breaks my heart. Not only because I truly believe that each girl is beautiful, and uniquely designed for a purpose, but I have also fell under the trap at times of believing that I'm not skinny enough, I'm not pretty enough, blah blah blah. I will never be a size 0, I don't think I ever was a size 0 to be completely honest, and I'm learning to embrace and accept that. God gave me an athletic build; I have some of the strongest thighs you'll ever see, and they have served me well through years of soccer, basketball, and running. If I could, I would have told myself years ago that size doesn't matter, who you are is what makes you beautiful, and no boy should ever dictate how you feel about yourself.
I wanted to talk about this, because the Lord has put so many young women in my life, and continues to have me pursue ministry that deals with young women. As my years in college begin winding down, I'm realizing that the Lord has given me such a heart for women {especially high school/college aged girls}. My heart breaks thinking about any of them believing the lies that this world tells us about beauty. Why can't women believe that they're beautiful the way they are? The way God made them?
One of my favorite verses is in Song of Solomon 4:7
"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you."
Jonny Diaz wrote a song about true beauty that I posted about a year ago on my blog. I love reading the lyrics, and meditating on the truths that are poured out on each line. They are so true, and every girl needs to hear them, no matter how old they are.
{Here are the lyrics to Jonny Diaz's "More Beautiful You"}
{To view the music video click here}
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
I pray that the girls around me won't fall captive to the lies that this world tells us about beauty. I pray that every girl is encouraged, and knows that they are beautiful.
I challenge everyone to write down 10 things that make them uniquely beautiful {I'm going to do it to! I'll share with you my answers on Friday}... I would love for you to share one or all ten things that makes you beautiful. I know it's a little uncomfortable, but it's good to acknowledge what makes you, you. It doesn't just have to be appearance, I'm talkin' personality, abilities, talents, etc. So... What makes you beautiful?
I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes I struggle with thinking of myself as beautiful because it sounds, I don't know, conceited? For some reason, saying "I'm beautiful" sometimes sounds like I'm full of myself, which is not something I want. I guess it's another one of those tricky balancing things. We need to think highly of ourselves but not too highly.
ReplyDeleteI know size is an issue that gets a lot of attention, but for me, in high school and college (and still now) my bigger issue with my looks was my acne. I felt like that was the first thing people saw when they looked at me. I know it was often the first thing I saw in the mirror. I think I actually had more trouble with it in college, because I felt like it made me look younger. It was a problem after I got married (still in college), because I got a lot of "you don't look old enough to be married!" and I felt like it was because of my face.
When my acne isn't acting up or is being muted by make-up, though, my eyes can stand out a little more, and I think they make me pretty. My hair color would go on my "makes me beautiful" list too. When I'm happy, I look better, so I guess happiness would make it on the list. I think I should take a minute and challenge myself to write down 10 things! Thanks for the challenge! Also, I love that song, I think I have it on a WOW CD or something. Great song.
This is such a nice idea, I think I may give it a shot. I think girls generally don't like to do things like complementing themselves as they feel it may be slightly big headed, which isn't the case. It's a real shame females allow their feelings and emotions to be dictated by males.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
http://lilylovelock.blogspot.com/
x
The main reason I know I am beautiful is because I KNOW that true beauty comes from within. Once you love whats inside, its so much easier to love your outside as well.
ReplyDeletexoxo, Emily
I love this post Molly, thank you so much for sharing. This has also been on my mind recently, as I talk to the freshman girls on my floor. I think it's so important the we redefine the meaning of womanly beauty, not by the world's standards, but by the way God sees us. One of my favorite verses is also from Song of Solomon 4:9 "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes." This is how God sees us. Every. Day. It's so important to remember that we matter to God.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that makes me beautiful is my desire to pour into other people. When I focus my attention on others, I worry less about myself and I can focus more on that person. I feel beautiful from the inside.
Well, 10 pages later!.. Thanks for sharing! :) xoxo.
i have to teach a class tomorrow night about this exact thing! thank you for posting. my distracted self ended up finding some useful tips!
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so honest you guys---this is why I love blogging :] As women, it can be uncomfortable, and feel "big-headed" to say that we're beautiful... But it's important to recognize that we are. Another great verse: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" {Proverbs 31:30}. It's true, our outer beauty is fleeting and wasting away, what matters is the beauty that is within. I hope I'm not coming across as corny, but I it's true! Thanks again for sharing your hearts!
ReplyDeleteJaclyn--- Good luck teaching your class! I'm sure you'll do great!
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of the deeper problems that young girls have with self image comes from not receiving/ feeling deep love from an intimate relationship with their fathers. I've discipled many middle school girls that came from broken families, and their hearts were always searching for a boy to fill them with the compliments and love they weren't receiving at home. It was so hard to see all these gorgeous girls feel the way that they did. We all had to pray for the strength to fall back on the truth of our heavenly Father, the one who loves unconditionally and who does not walk out on our families. I hope and pray all young girls who struggle with self image as well as not feeling loved remember the lavish love of their True Father who is always saying "I love you" and who never leaves.
ReplyDeleteGreat post :)
What makes me beautiful- enjoying who God made me to be! I feel most beautiful when Greg notices something in me that pleases Jesus...although the love of a good man really has helped me love how i look better as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this! It's a subject that's dear to my heart and you couldn't have stated it better. Something that makes me beautiful is my patience. I never understood it growing up, but now on the track towards teaching, it will be my greatest asset. I dedicated a post on my blog to this, and wrote my ten things if you would like to check it out. Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post, thanks for being so honest!
ReplyDeleteI was listening to this song this morning and thought it fit really well with this post! Just wanted to share. It was written for a VeggieTales video, but it's such an awesome song on it's own! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orc4TuIO56s&list=LL0K2xkdeGqwRW3Htnb6wJ4A&index=20&feature=plpp_video
ReplyDeleteI love that song & this post!
ReplyDeleteLove, leigh
I love that song & this post!
ReplyDeleteLove, leigh
Nice blog. You might like this quote about pretty and beautiful people. http://caroleschatter.blogspot.co.nz/2012/03/quotation-spot_17.html
ReplyDeleteI loooove this post!:) Very inspiring and uplifting! We need more women with your character in this world! Thanks for making a difference:)
ReplyDelete