change is a great thing

{ scarf: [gift] Loft; sweater: Target; bracelet: JCrew; watch: Nordstrom }

This week, I've realized that my life is changing and evolving from college to the next unknown thing.

This week, I started my student teaching, and I'm only commuting to Oregon State on tuesdays for classes and college younglife. As soon as I got to Corvallis and stepped onto campus, things felt different. I don't feel like a college student anymore, I'm not worried about the things that I was worried about when I was living and working on campus, I have a totally different mindset. Watching the circumstances and surroundings in my life change, is making me realize that I'm changing a lot too. I'm working in a classroom, instead of sitting in a classroom. I'm commuting to and from school, when before I walked to school and to work. I'm focused on what's ahead, what's after college. I'm really thinking about where God wants me, and what he wants me doing with the life he has blessed me with. I'm at a point where I'm hopelessly begging God to lead my life and show me where he wants to use me. What does he want me to do with my life? Where does he want me working? Who does he want me investing in? Where does he want me serving? Where does he want me investing my time? What community does he want me and Brad to settle down in? All of these questions have been racing through my mind. Before moving, I was focused on the actual move to Salem itself. I wasn't focused on life after Salem or life after graduation for that matter. 

I'm not panicked... No, quite the opposite... I'm actually really excited. I can see God opening and shutting doors, and it's really amazing. I'm experiencing God in a way I never have before. I've never had to be this vulnerable, I've never been so unsure about what's next. I thought I would hate it and want to have everything planned out, but I don't. I really don't. I'm realizing that wherever I am, God is with me. I don't ever need to be panicked or anxious about the next thing. 

On Sunday, we visited my brother and sisters church in Portland {Solid Rock: A Jesus Church}. The pastor spoke on what it looks like to be one of Jesus' disciples. He went through a list of 5 things that defined being a disciple of Jesus. The thing that stuck out to me the most, was the last thing he said... "Don't put yourself on the throne. Put HIM on the throne." I want every part of my life to reflect that. I want God to be on the throne of my life, because God is so much greater and bigger than I am. I just started reading, "The Reason for God", by Timothy Keller {I'm really into his books right now}, and I am blown away by all the doctrine and truth their is about Jesus and the Bible. It's ultimately harder to not believe in who Christ was and is today {because there is so much proof that supports it}, than it is to be an atheist. This man is so brilliant, and knows his stuff. I love that I can research Christianity to the core, and only be more convinced that I believe in ultimate truth. The reason why so many people don't want to believe in who Jesus really was, is because they're scared of surrendering their life to something besides themselves. They're scared of letting something greater take over their life and transform them in every way. Why? Because we're selfish humans who want to run our own lives, because we think we can run it so much better. Believe me, I'm the first to admit that I'm guilty of running my own life. However, in this season, I'm realizing that when I let go and let God run my life, everything turns out way better than I could have ever planned. 

My verse for this week {one of my new years resolutions was to memorize a verse each week, since I'm terrible at memorizing verses} is Psalm 119 v. 165: "Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble." 

I'm finding that to be true in my life right now. When I'm walking in God's word, I have great peace.

I hope this encourages you today. Thanks for letting me spill what the Lord is doing in my life. I love hearing from you guys when I open my heart, I really appreciate it.